On Thursday, after having a couple of bad days in a row, I go home and look at my postal mail. Besides the usual Christmas cards, there is a Christmas card from Sweetie and his wife. It is a simple card, but a card nonetheless. I don't quite know what to make of it.
I go for a good long run, take a shower, and head to a coffeehouse to get some reading done. And some thinking. Joe calls me while I'm at the coffeehouse. He goes to my latest diary entry while we're on the phone and reads it. He tells me that I am way out of control. He says that I need to be carefull of who I end up in bed with, the things that happened that resulted in bruises and teeth marks, and the heroin. I agree.
When I get home I have decided that I am now okay. The Christmas card from Sweetie made me realize that there will be many nice and attractive (both intellectually and physically) people coming into and out of my life and that I just need to let it happen. People will leave my life and I need to let it happen.
Sweetie has unknowingly come to my rescue with his simple act of sending me a Christmas card. With this simple act I feel all feelings of confusion and pain leaving. This is the perfect springboard for the holiday vacation!