Content-type: text/html Ray Manning

Monday, June 14, 2004 8:58 PM

Single Again!

On Monday I go to work with my heroin hangover look - unshaven for three days, hair long and wildly askew, and clothes disheveled and mismatched. There are many comments about the way I look. And I can only respond with, "If you had the weekend that I had you'd be happy to look this good." After work I get home and lift weights and go for a long walk. When I get home Person N_V is back from Florida and makes a comment about my "heroin hangover" look. But later he cuts my hair and I shave and things are better for Tuesday. And Person N_V asks me, after I give him his birthday gift, "Why are you giving me gifts when we're breaking up and I'm moving out?"

On Tuesday I lift weights before work and have a long day of sitting in meetings. I have lunch with Dr Doyle (visiting from Chicago) and Dr Triller today. They both keep talking about how good I look. I keep talking about how great life is, how happy am I, and how much fun I'm having. With the caveat of the emotional distress regarding Person N_V over the last few months. But the light at the end of the tunnel is approaching as Saturday is the day that Person N_V moves out. (He even makes noises throughout Tuesday that he might move out on Thursday or Friday!) And then I ride the motorcycle down to Garden Grove to have another adoptions meeting with a statewide coordinator. She really likes our work and almost gives us cash on the spot. But I keep telling Ruby and Joseph, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch".

On Wednesday I do a "two a day" set of workouts with the weights. (This being a two week period where I'm concentrating on extra strength and upper body size as opposed to a smaller waistline.) After walking and stopping off at the grocery store I spend the rest of the evening relaxing. During the evening of relaxing and talking with Person N_V, Person N_V says, "You know that once I leave I'm not coming back". And I just keep my mouth shut and remember some good advice that was once given to me (and that I rarely follow): Keep your mouth shut - don't say a word.

My mobile phone bill shows up on Friday and it has 201 phone calls and 86 text messages for the month. 86 text messages? Hmmmmmm.

On Friday night Person N_V comes to bed and we have another good discussion. He, of course, falls asleep towards the end of the conversation and starts snoring loudly. I take off and sleep in the other bed. When I return to bed just before the 5:30 am alarm will go off, Person N_V grabs my leg, hugs me, and says, "It's so cold without you". I lay down and comfort him before the alarm goes off. I'm up to lift weights prior to helping Person N_V move out. Later he asks incredulously, "Why did you lift weights before we moved all of my stuff?" I didn't think it was an unreasonable thing to do.

The move goes well and most of Person N_V's things are gone from my house. We both move efficiently and wit respect. At one point during the move I say, "I'm enjoying this because we're doing this together. Somehow we rarely did things together. That was our downfall". Person N_V somewhat agrees.

When I get home Person T* calls and we have a discussion and before I know it she's heading over to my house. As she's here there are phone calls with Person J_VKPI, Person M_Fl, Brandon, Person T_U, and Person N_V. Person T* remarks about all of the people that I know and at 11pm I'm responding with, "This evening is just getting started even if I am staying in tonight".

Later on Saturday night, after many phone calls to which I respond that I am staying in tonight, I have a bit of a revelation. A few months ago I had a boyfriend, a dog, and I was happy. Now I have no boyfriend, no dog, and I'm happier! What's going on here?

On Sunday morning I get out for a reasonable aquarium ride, wah the car, and watch the Canadian Grand Prix. When I get out to the grocery store the 20 year old neighbor down the street who I ride bicycles with is there and tells me that he has broken up with his girlfriend of 3.5 years. And as I'm telling him that he is too young to be settling down with one person and he needs to wait until his life stabilizes, I tell him that since I turned 40 "I've stabilized into an emotionally unstable state". To which we both have a hard time re-composing ourselves.

After a good mid-day session with the weights and some relaxation time, I want to get out for an hour of rollerblading, but Person N_C (from last August) contacts me and we go walk by the beach before having a quick dinner.

Late on Sunday night I reflect on the weekend's happenings including the three phone calls from Person N_V on this day alone. One was just to chat, one was to ask when he could come and pick more stuff up, and one was for directions when he was lost. Hmmmm.