On Wednesday night I have an hour long conversation with Person J_VKPI. We clear the air on a number of topics. He can't understand why I don't persue Person M_P after Person M_P has "discovered himself". "Because things like this happen and it's best to just move on." But Person J_VKPI is going out with someone else and I enthusiastically and sincerely express my happiness for Person J_VKPI. We agree to try and go out clubbing one of these weekends.
After work on Thursday I go for a five mile run, take a quick shower, and head for a coffeehouse to read. I get through the newspaper and into a book before I decide to go home. As I'm driving past the drug dealers and hookers on Pacific Coast Highway "Gimme Shelter" comes on the radio. Of course! At least this numbs the other feelings that I've had throughout the day.
I'm laying in bed after 10pm when the telephone starts ringing. The first call, which I do not answer, is from Person J_Ca and says, "...Where have you been? Call me. It's important. ...love you." The second call I can't quite make out because I'm drifting off to sleep. But then the mobile phone rings and I answer it. It is Person Dao.
Person Dao and I have an hour long conversation about his recent trip to San Francisco to help out a friend, his required weekend of recovery (after the trip), and the long hours at work. And then the conversation turns to the chaos and anarchy in Ray's life. We cover the path of destruction that I've left in my path including Person J_Ca, Person Dao, Person G, Person J_VKPI, Person T*, Person M_P, and, now, Person T_V. We don't even get to Person T_T and Person W_C - there has not been destruction there yet. I do not know if this entire conversation has helped or hurt me.