As I wrote in my uncensored online diary, "Why is it that people want to run my life right now? Why is it that everyone seems to know what is best for my life right now? (When sometimes they don't even have their own life together?) Person G, Person J_VKPI, and Person M_P have all told me what I want, what I need, what I should do, and how I should live my life. These revelations have all occurred recently. I've managed to completely mess up my own life without anybody else's help, so why should I need their advice now?"
On the last day of January the credit card bill comes. There's a strange mix of billings from Armstrong Nursery (for the roses), Amazon.com, godaddy.com (for webhosting for a new development site), Earthlink, Babies 'R Us (as previously mentioned), ExxonMobil, and a purchase from the Netherlands (which we won't discuss here but will mention that included both currency exchange fees and an additional foreign exchange fee). With this bill paid I can now go looking for a new mountain bicycle!
There is confusion on Friday night as the ice hockey game is cancelled but not before I drive to the rink. I go home and go for a run - I was looking forward to the ice hockey game to take out my frustrations from people. The run, just short of 5 miles, will have to do. And now I'm bored. So I take a shower and head for Fire Island.
I run into a couple of friends at Fire Island including the friend of a friend of a friend who made me an offer last week. We hang out and enjoy the music. There are a couple of other offers made to me during the evening and I give the presenters the standard, "Please prepare an offer sheet and let my publicist and business manager evaluate it and see if it is within the domain of my life's vision and future." This response sorta solves my problems though not everyone get's the message and continues with offers. Regardless, we leave just after last call and say our goodbyes outside the club.
I'm just starting down the dark alley to get to my truck when I hear someone coming up behind me. "Why are you leaving so early?" is what I hear. I turn around and start a conversation with um...let's give the designation Person S_Ca. Finally Person S_Ca says, "My friend, who you were staring at, wants to meet you."
I correct Person S_Ca with "I smile at everyone. I acknowledge everyone. I glance at everyone. But I don't stare at people. But let's go meet him." So we walk back to the entrance/exit of the club. When I am introduced to um...Person R_Ca I realize that I was wrong. I was staring at him! I'm also introduced to a mutual friend Person K_Ca and the four of us have a conversation that goes beyond the club closing and the emptying of the parking lot. I finally leave with "The dog is already going to be mad at me because I've blown way past the 2am curfew that he has on me."
Saturday after a good bicycle ride I start the laundry and notice breaking news on the television. The space shuttle has broken up during descent and there are no survivors. For the next 4 hours I watch closely and try to see what is going on. I feel the tears well up a few times - especially each time that I realize that the astronauts onboard were my age.
I try to take my mind off the catastrophe with some work on the roses (Click for the update) as well as a session with the weights. There is nothing left to do tonight except head to Club Asia.
I run into a few acquaintances at the club but the crowd is down slightly due to the asian new year. There are offers made to me and they are deflected with the "...domain of my life's vision and future" statements. I do not quite make it into bed as early as I wanted. And when I do, sleep is hard to come by. I do notice that there are approximately 10 missed calls on my mobile phone of people who called and didn't leave a message. And, of course, one call from Person J_VKPI wanting "to clear the air".
Sunday sees a good, if windy, bicycle ride prior to hanging out with Person B_K. We just barely talk about the shuttle disaster (because I cannot talk about it and steer the conversation clear), Boeing, Northrop Grumman, careers, and other things. I rush home for the scheduled 1pm London, England conversation and find that it has been missed. I can foresee a trip to merry old London shortly. The afternoon ice hockey game sees us jump out to a 4-0 lead, let the other team back to 4-3, and then re-assert ourselves for a 7-3 win. I play well.
This has been a long and emotionally-trying weekend, so I take some Kava root extract (A fresh batch!) when I finish the game in hopes of early sleep.
I'm up after 5am on Monday morning for a walk. The weather has finally become more January-like. It is chilly. When I return from my walk I see that there are 7 voice mail messages that have been left throughout the night.