[CAUTION]
If you have not lived the following experience, then you will
think that I am a stark raving mad lunatic.
If, on the other hand, you have lived this experience, then
you will KNOW that I have actually UNDERestimated the feeling.
Sometimes it comes on for no reason (as it did today to me on my way home) and sometimes it comes on when associated with a "peak experience". It is that feeling that you get that starts at the midspine, tingles/energizes its way directly down, rebounds with extra energy back up the spine, through the base of the skull, and explodes through the brain and out the top of the skull. It is pure ecstasy. It is absolute enlightenment. It is the white moment. It is pure bliss. It is the peak performance. It is being in the zone and beyond. It is all of the above wrapped together and multiplied many orders of magnitude over.
It is better than the most intense sex. It is better than the highest drug rush. It is better than the fastest motorcycle, racecar, or jetfighter.
It is the reason for living. Just to capture that moment once more. There is no amount of money, no amount of power, no position in life that can equal that experience. There is no more precious moment in life than that moment and you will work very hard for years just to taste it again. When it happens, you want to stop and say "That's it! That's what it's all about." It's just having done something that's totally pure and having experienced the perfect emotion.
I've experienced it a number of times in my life and it is the reason for living. I had it when I won my first state championship in chess. I had it during the tennis conference finals in college. Boy did I have it then!
I had lost to my opponent two weeks before 6-0 and 6-1. It wasn't even close. Now we had just split the first two sets and we had our 3 minute break. My teammates came down to encourage me on for the third set. My doubles partner asked "What are you gonna do?" And I responded with "You just watch. I'm going to serve and volley, not make a single unforced error, and crush this guy". My doubles partner said "But you're not a serve and volleyer. Not the second match of the day in the third set. And no unforced errors during serve and volley?" And I just said "You just watch". And he saw it in my eyes. He saw it. Because when I walked back onto the court I heard him say to my teammates "Fish is gonna demolish this guy!" (Fish was my nickname in college.) And I did demolish him. I ended up making one unforced error in the entire set (which is unheard of). The best player in the state came up to me and said "That was the best set of tennis I have ever seen. Bar none."
I had it when I finished my first 50 kilometer cross country ski race. I had it when I finished my first half marathon. I had it crawling up the French Alps on a bicycle with full pack. I had it near the end of EOS Aqua testing, EOS Aura testing, and the famous EOS Aura CDR where the trading cards were passed out. The 2000 Coulthard qualifying lap at Spa Belgium does it also. As well as the 1992 Senna qualifying lap at Monaco. And Eddie Lawson's laps at Laguna Seca.
It is the reason for living - to try to experience that feeling again. No amount of suffering, pain, trauma, and agony can dull it. You'll go through all of those just to get it again.
It is not the feeling as if you are sitting at the top of the world. It is the feeling that you ARE the top of the world.
There is no other reason for living.
Why it happened on the way home today is mystery. But it happened. And now I want it again.